reflecting. waging war on myselves. the gallerist vs. the artist, the practical vs the free spirit, shoobie doobie do. it's over!
a little back story.... graduated my BFA in spring of 2008... the whole time working part time at the university galleries...and there after till 2011. So thats a solid number of years invested in learning everything from dreaded mailing lists, to guarding art from ridiculousness , planning highly successful receptions & VIP parties, hanging art, transporting art, painting walls, moving walls, registrarial management, exhibition development, curating & design(I heart big time!) training new students every semester in gallery practices, developing & teaching community out reach programs, developing public programming, bookkeeping, accounting, payroll, grant development, scheduling, touring, schmoozing,just about anything that needed to get done...I did it & I loved every minute of it despite some bitching & moaning on occasion.
i began to find it was easier to focus on learning all I could and how to do it really well, when it came to my career with the gallery. especially after graduating, i felt as though my art making was a guilty pleasure. struggling with either deciding to pursue a masters degree in curatorial practices or my MFA in Visual Arts for at least 3 years, frankly because one seemed like more of a "sure thing".so now i have taken the plunge... full steam ahead in Visual Arts and the 1st semester was the hardest.
as part of my scholarship, I have a part time job with pay called a graduate assistantship... which I am very thankful for! naturally I was very excited to find that I would be coordinating a brand new gallery... i dove in ready to make great things happen...spending far more time & concern for my part time job, because that's where i am all good and will be just fine when & if i choose to pursue this again in the future. i still work at the gallery and will do my best as usual, but am not making this my first priority anymore. i really had to stop and ask, what am i really here for? it was super difficult to answer this question clearly last semester. i'm calling myself out & moving on.
so i have decided to trust my initial instinct and to really do what i had set out to do... explore the scary, exciting, & unknown world of fully being an artist. 5 weeks into the second semester, I am starting to develop a nice rhythm. I work between studio's 5 days a week now...realizing gratefully that this is my job. to explore my creative practice through research (where i sometimes get caught up in longer than necessary), observation, conversation, getting messy, reading, listening to music, exploring new ideas, & working obsessively to resolve ideas & techniques...you get the picture. this is a fully submersive undertaking that I have never had the opportunity to explore to this depth before and i think i am falling in love.
a little back story.... graduated my BFA in spring of 2008... the whole time working part time at the university galleries...and there after till 2011. So thats a solid number of years invested in learning everything from dreaded mailing lists, to guarding art from ridiculousness , planning highly successful receptions & VIP parties, hanging art, transporting art, painting walls, moving walls, registrarial management, exhibition development, curating & design(I heart big time!) training new students every semester in gallery practices, developing & teaching community out reach programs, developing public programming, bookkeeping, accounting, payroll, grant development, scheduling, touring, schmoozing,just about anything that needed to get done...I did it & I loved every minute of it despite some bitching & moaning on occasion.
i began to find it was easier to focus on learning all I could and how to do it really well, when it came to my career with the gallery. especially after graduating, i felt as though my art making was a guilty pleasure. struggling with either deciding to pursue a masters degree in curatorial practices or my MFA in Visual Arts for at least 3 years, frankly because one seemed like more of a "sure thing".so now i have taken the plunge... full steam ahead in Visual Arts and the 1st semester was the hardest.
as part of my scholarship, I have a part time job with pay called a graduate assistantship... which I am very thankful for! naturally I was very excited to find that I would be coordinating a brand new gallery... i dove in ready to make great things happen...spending far more time & concern for my part time job, because that's where i am all good and will be just fine when & if i choose to pursue this again in the future. i still work at the gallery and will do my best as usual, but am not making this my first priority anymore. i really had to stop and ask, what am i really here for? it was super difficult to answer this question clearly last semester. i'm calling myself out & moving on.
so i have decided to trust my initial instinct and to really do what i had set out to do... explore the scary, exciting, & unknown world of fully being an artist. 5 weeks into the second semester, I am starting to develop a nice rhythm. I work between studio's 5 days a week now...realizing gratefully that this is my job. to explore my creative practice through research (where i sometimes get caught up in longer than necessary), observation, conversation, getting messy, reading, listening to music, exploring new ideas, & working obsessively to resolve ideas & techniques...you get the picture. this is a fully submersive undertaking that I have never had the opportunity to explore to this depth before and i think i am falling in love.
 |
| Yoko Ono and John Lennon '69 |
Hey Adrienne. Ditto, ditto, . . . If it were'nt for these damned bills (mortgages, electricity, food), I could fully devote myself to art. Ah well, I did fall in love with the process at FAU, and for that I am grateful. For that I am grateful, for that I am grateful . . . 'this is a recording'.
ReplyDelete